Coolest Looking Lame Car?

"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo) 03/26/2016 at 10:42 • Filed to: None

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Some cars don’t look as cool as they are, typically we call them Sleepers. Some car enthusiasts like them, some love them, some couldn’t care less.

One thing I think enthusiasts universally agree one is, the hatred of cars that look cooler/faster/more interesting than they are. We don’t like being lied too..

So in your opinion what car is the worst offender? I’m going to say the 4th gen Mitsubishi Eclipse. Yes you COULD get it with a 263hp V6. but at that you also got a 3400lb FWD coupe. The typical engine is the same you’d get in a Dodge Avenger pumping a not so impressive 160hp, in a 3200lb FWD coupe. Yes the V6 car weighs 200lbs more than the 4 cylinder. The car is that much more disappointing when you consider the 4 cylinder, AWD rally/drag/circuit racing monsters that preceded it.

But it is a cool looking car. As evidence, I was with a younger non-car guy, a few months ago. We were driving through town during a snow storm, and a 4th gen Eclipse drove by us. He said “that’s a sporty looking car, seems like the kind of car you should have put away for winter.”It wasn’t even a fancy looking one just a grey pre-face lift one.

And here’s the CL ad that sparked this rant.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

KnowsAboutCars > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 10:52

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I’ve always liked this gen Monte Carlo’s look (or at least the front end) but otherwise I guess there really aren’t many redeeming qualities about it.

djmt1 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 10:53

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MG TF

Lightweight, Mid-engined, RWD, Roadster. All enthusiast buzzwords that make you feel funny but nice inside. Shame that it is an utter turd.

Everybody who has been in one says the same thing. You feel like you’re sitting on it as opposed to in it, it really is rather odd. Plus it has the worst manual gearbox in the history of history. Seriously the experience can be likened to this, trust me I know.

Then there are the driving dynamics themselves, they’re not very good. Despite being a “Sports car”, it wobbles and leans around even the most of gentle of corners. Think MX5 but many magnitudes exaggerated.

Such a shame it could of been great. That said I still kind of want one. I guess there are worst ways to spend £500 but coincidently I can’t think of them.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 10:53

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Mitsu Lamcer GTS

Evo looks but no Evo bite

MultiplaOrgasms > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 10:54

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?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > MultiplaOrgasms 03/26/2016 at 11:01

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That’s fair. Not all Mustangs were V8 powered monsters driven by Steve McQeen. Most of them were 100hp inline 6 “girl cars”.

jimz > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:05

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Any Neon with the “SRT Design” package.

‘cos you really want to let the world know you couldn’t afford a real one.

Flyboy is FAA certified insane > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:09

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Knowsaboutcars reminded me of the later gen Monte Carlo’s, I like the one after the refresh.

I think even in non-SS trim they were relatively handsome. And you could get it with a 5.3 LS in it driving the front wheels. Wouldn’t really go that fast though.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:12

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Good and fast looking, yes! But sadly fwd and only available with an automatic tranny when you wanted the V6...

Thomas Donohue > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:14

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Not sure about them being lame, but the wide-body styling of these things deserved 250+HP. I don’t think they ever approached 190, and it was almost 3000 lbs in ESi trim.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Thomas Donohue 03/26/2016 at 11:15

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I’ve driven a lightly modified one. It lived up to the styling.

Your boy, BJR > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:16

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HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Flyboy is FAA certified insane 03/26/2016 at 11:16

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I haven’t driven a Monte But I’ve driven a Wbody Impala SS. Man what a turd. It wasn’t that fast, and oh boy was the interior just cheap as could be.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > jimz 03/26/2016 at 11:17

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I didn’t even know that was a thing. it is funny.

Flyboy is FAA certified insane > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:22

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A friend had an LT. It rusted so bad the rear leaf spring bracket just fell off one day.

FromCanadaWithLove > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:23

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I always thought the Scion tc was a pretty good looking car. It looks like it should be RWD. I know underneath it’s just a Carolla, though.

DoYouEvenShift > Flyboy is FAA certified insane 03/26/2016 at 11:33

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Pretty sure those have struts. Unless your talking about thr late 80s early 90s cars. That was a different gen.

DoYouEvenShift > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:34

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Fwd makes it lame.

JR1 > Flyboy is FAA certified insane 03/26/2016 at 11:36

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5.5 to 60 seems pretty quick to me

scoob > FromCanadaWithLove 03/26/2016 at 11:37

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Came to say this. I think the first gen looks better though.

JR1 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:38

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I think you hit the nail on the head with the Eclipse. I also suggest the Hyundia Tiburon

DoYouEvenShift > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:40

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Honda Prelude, cool looking car, but shame its a small engine fwd.

RPM esq. > Your boy, BJR 03/26/2016 at 11:51

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You win.

Flyboy is FAA certified insane > JR1 03/26/2016 at 11:54

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Hmm... I thought it was slower. Might’ve looked at the wrong year’s times.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > FromCanadaWithLove 03/26/2016 at 11:56

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It does have a bigger engine than the one available in the Corolla, and the 0-60 isn’t that far off of the FRS/BRZ.

Flyboy is FAA certified insane > DoYouEvenShift 03/26/2016 at 11:56

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It very well might’ve been. This segment of vehicles is the one I am least researched in haha.

Justin Hughes > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:57

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The 1995-96 Saturn SC2.

Under the skin, it’s an economy car. But oh, that skin. All real sports cars have pop-up headlights. It’s swoopy. It’s cool. The spoiler isn’t too big or too small. The design refinements of the 95-96 version added integrated fog lights, a better looking grill, and better looking trunk. That’s why I owned a car exactly like this one.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 11:57

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Anything normal with a “sport” trim package that has no other changes. Audi’s S-line comes to mind.

I have driven a 4th gen. Very weird cars. Very nice looking. Very plastic-fantastic. It’s like a plastic box with super firm suspension (in spite of the hate you lavish on it for lack of power, it’s actually a really good handling car). The 2nd gens were the best, but this is still not a bad car.

Thinking about cars in general, GM is the biggest offender here. They always overdo the styling on basically everything, especially recently. However, as I think about it, Chrysler beat them in every way. Dodge Avenger...wtf? A Dodge Caliber is a PT Cruiser in an angry-looking body. Chevy Sonic also comes to mind (It’s just an Aveo with better styling and an engine that won’t self-destruct after 50k miles). Toyota is also a huge offender here, like the last-gen Celica and the GT86/FR-S.

I know there must be worse offenders, though.

LongbowMkII > Thomas Donohue 03/26/2016 at 11:58

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That could be said about most 80's performance cars.

Your boy, BJR > FromCanadaWithLove 03/26/2016 at 11:58

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I’m like 98% sure that that one is actually my friend’s.

LongbowMkII > Justin Hughes 03/26/2016 at 11:59

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The SC2 looked really cool.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > djmt1 03/26/2016 at 12:00

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wobbles as in the frame flexing? if its the shocks could that be fixed with stiffer springs/shocks?

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 12:00

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For a second I thought you were talking about the B body

ly2v8-Brian > Your boy, BJR 03/26/2016 at 12:05

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This is the best answer.

PorkchoPlissken > Thomas Donohue 03/26/2016 at 12:21

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No way, these were awesome, and ahead of most of the competition at the time. God I need one.

PatBateman > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 12:26

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C.A.M.B.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Your boy, BJR 03/26/2016 at 12:28

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Yes yes yes sir!

djmt1 > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 03/26/2016 at 12:36

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Possibly as according to Tiff having the Sports Suspension improved things but what they give with one hand, they take with another.

JR1 > Flyboy is FAA certified insane 03/26/2016 at 12:38

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I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure I read a road taste that said 5.5

Gone > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 12:39

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Kailand09 > Your boy, BJR 03/26/2016 at 12:39

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/thread

Kailand09 > Gone 03/26/2016 at 12:43

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I laughed way too hard at this.

Flyboy is FAA certified insane > JR1 03/26/2016 at 12:46

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Mmmm... Road taste...

But yea I see that now also. I think I looked at the 3.9 V6

Kailand09 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 12:46

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Dodge dart. I often see just the front end peaking out in a parking lot and think “damn what is that?” only to realize it’s a dart.

The car is begging for a legitimate srt trim.

not for canada - australian in disguise > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 12:51

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Always liked the look of the first two generations of the Escape.

MultiplaOrgasms > FromCanadaWithLove 03/26/2016 at 12:54

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Well technically it’s a RAV4

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > FromCanadaWithLove 03/26/2016 at 13:16

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At least it’s a liftback.

dogisbadob > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/26/2016 at 13:22

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and not only that, but a shitty automatic transmission at that!

dogisbadob > DoYouEvenShift 03/26/2016 at 13:23

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yeah but it’s got VTEC yo

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > DoYouEvenShift 03/26/2016 at 13:34

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I guess it depends on what year, country, trim. it did come with a 190hp-200hp, 2.2l both forth and fifth gen in the US.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 13:49

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The Chevy Sonic (until 2017). You could also get a good array of colours.

Dragon Green Metallic.

Red hot.

Kinetic Blue Metallic.

Inferno “Orange”.

Crystal Red Tintcoat.

RacinBob > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 14:09

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I don’t think somebody who owned a six cyl stang would say they were girl cars. I had one through college, it had nice pickup and handled pretty decent. A 200 cubic inch 6 has pretty good grunt. The car I had before was a 64 fairlane with a 289 v8, it wasn’t really all that much quicker.

Granted, all things equal, the 289 is the one to get. Just saying the 200 6 stang was also a lot of fun......

jjhats > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/26/2016 at 14:45

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I think the last gen honda fit sport looked very sharp and sporty maybe as much as a fiesta st but with none of the punch

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/27/2016 at 00:28

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Camaros

oh who am i kidding they are ugly and lame

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 03/27/2016 at 23:14

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As far as I understand, these are just __ underneath. But girl look at that body.

Justino6969 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 04/19/2016 at 18:26

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Honda CR-Z without a doubt. Saw one in person when they came out and I didn’t know they existed, so I googled it later and found out it’s just a FWD hybird. So disappointing.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Justino6969 04/19/2016 at 18:36

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but it’s a sporty hybrid. It’s kinda cool how they just use the motor to add torque to then engine at lower RPMs, it doesn’t actually ever run on just the motor like a Prius. And you can get a 6 speed manual gearbox.

Justino6969 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 04/19/2016 at 18:41

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I guess. I still don’t know if a FWD 8+ second 0-60 is sporty..

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Justino6969 04/19/2016 at 19:15

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That’s true I still want to drive one some day, but I’m prepared to be disappointed.